‘Get a real job’: Mother-in-law Demands Son and His Family Move in to Support Her, Dispute Arises With Daughter-in-law Over Finances

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 4 days ago Longjumping-Oil-2771 AITA for outright refusing to contribute to house bills at my MILS home?
  • 02
    My MIL (59) fell ill last year and basically begged my husband to move us (him, me and our 4 children) in to her 6 bedroom farmhouse to help her with bills and her basic needs. I didn't want to do this under any circumstances but my husband pushed the issue. I felt I had zero say whatsoever but I have
  • 03
    continuously made my distaste known. We moved in in November and she signed the deed to the house over to my husband. All the other bills are still in her name (water, heat, electric).
  • 04
    I do not work currently. Our youngest is 8 months old and I have been a SAHM for 6 years now (our other children are 5yo twins and 3yo - I have been home since I got pregnant with the twins, as it was a high risk pregnancy). I DO have income however doing hobby work. I make and sell customized quilts
  • 05
    and make a decent amount of money off of it. My husband is currently paying nearly $2800 a month here AND I pay for all of the food. His mother literally only contributes by cleaning and maybe $400 a month, despite working full time and making around $4k monthly. She basically says that she's putting all of her money in to her
  • 06
    retirement fund (which is near non-existent). Well, 2 months ago my MIL started really pushing the fact that she wants me to put my younger children in daycare full time and get a "real job" so I can contribute to the remainder of her bills because she feels too
  • 07
    weak to work and wants to quit her job. I have refused. For starters, I am not putting my children in daycare (my husband agrees, I also breastfeed the baby). And I also made it. abundantly clear that I wouldn't be responsible for any of her bills because I didn't want to be here. My husband told me from day 1 that I would be responsible for
  • 08
    nothing outside of food, which I have held up on. So MIL is eating for free and having 90% of her bills paid for by my husband. She doesn't need anything else from us. But last night she started screaming at my husband about how she apparently wanted us to come here so she can retire early and that the "least we could do"
  • 09
    is pay for everything here, since she signed over the house to us and said that I needed to "get off my " and contribute because he shouldn't be made to pay for everything when I'm "more than capable". I walk in and tell her she had best stop running her mouth about me when I'm not in the room to defend myself and that I
  • 10
    am not putting my children in daycare to make her life more. cushy than she already has it. I told her if she wants to retire than there are plenty of retirement homes OR we could move out and she can pay for 100% of her bills as she was before but I refuse to do anything more than I'm doing. My husband told me I
  • 11
    should have stayed out of it and let him handle it but his way of handling it is by saying "I know mom, I get what you're saying" and nothing more. AITA?
  • 12
    NHFNCFRE •4d ago MIL is clearly out of touch if she thinks putting 3+ kids in daycare is going to somehow save money.
  • 13
    zorgonzola37 • 4d ago Your mother in law is 59? She is going to be in the house even after your kids are grown and moved out lol. Where do you see this going?
  • 14
    addictingmilfnxtd... 4d ago NTA. Your husband needs to control this issue immediately.
  • 15
    JEM10000 .4d ago NTA. Your mother-in-law is only 59. do you really want to spend the next 20 to 35 years living with the woman? It's definitely time to tell your husband You will need an alternate plan. Also, you did a great job
  • 16
    defending yourself especially since your husband was not!
  • 17
    - TarzanKitty •4d ago NTA Your husband is very clearly NOT handling it.
  • 18
    Livid-Screen-3289 • 4d ago NTA. That wasn't the agreement.
  • 19
    Why is she only paying $400/month all-in to include full room and board? She's making out like a bandit while her lifestyle is now being subsidized, allowing her the luxury of contemplating early retirement without having the funds to justify it.
  • 20
    Also to pay for an infant plus a toddler in daycare at the same time would wipe out the earnings from many jobs in many areas after factoring in taxes, etc.
  • 21
    Ruthless_Bunny • 4d ago Now that you know where your MIL stands, speak to your husband about what the next steps are. Me? I'd let her get roommates and I'd get out.
  • 22
    Your husband can deed that right back to her and she can sell it or do whatever makes sense to her But you don't have to stay in this situation and you shouldn't

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